The Last Bastion

[magikchicken]

Slowed down? Ah, that would be because I didn't post for 14 hours due to sleep + studying for exams on Monday. I'm sorry for letting you all down for so long, but this board, sadly, does not command the majority of my time, only a large fraction.
You may now return to posting in the Contagion and Cold World threads now that I have got them moving again.

[Dragonizer]

I've been waiting for Firehawk in The Cold World. My guys can't do too much right nao.

[firehawk010]

Ok, I'll maby add another god, expect a familliar name poppin up.

[magikchicken]

Okay, sorry to say, but there are problems with your characters, firehawk. (This is regarding the Cold World thread.)

1. No one mentioned a moon orbiting the Cold World, though I guess it would be okay for your to simply godmod one into existence.
2. The sun is so far away from the Cold World, it's literally impossible for there to be any kind of significant 'sunbeam,' even with the God of the Sun sitting there. For that matter, Taiyou would be very weak here, and he'd have some serious trouble getting any kind of sun-aspected power. Most inhabitants of the Cold World would find it absurd to worship the far-off 'brightest star,' since before enlightenment the contents of the heavens would have been unimportant in each race's struggle for survival.
3. Is it just me, or are you basically ripping off gods/goddesses from Japanese mythology? I hate to say it, but that's not very original. I'm not making you get rid of the characters, but in future I'd suggest making your characters from scratch, like Cipher in the Darkest Day thread.

None of this is 'fatal error' material, but one person having three characters drawn from existing mythology, who immediately meet up and ally with each other, seems a little suspect to my sense of RP logic.

[firehawk010]

I'm not trying to, I'm just writing them as i think of them. i'll fix it.

[magikchicken]

Oh... Sorry. I thought that sounded a lot like Japanese mythology, but I might be wrong, since I know nearly nothing about said culture.
It's just that... I cringe inside whenever I see someone use a 'kitsune' character, or characters with obvious Japanese names. Not because I have anything against Japanese culture and mythology, but because the majority of said characters tend to be unoriginal and use all sorts of references which I, and more than half the other people in the thread, don't understand.
I'm sorry if your characters were entirely original, but I know that Tsuki means, literally, 'moon,' and I assume that Taiyou means sun. I jumped to conclusions.

[firehawk010]

It's true that their names are literally what they are god of, but that's as much as I wish to have cliche.

[magikchicken]

Okay, sorry again.
On other news, I posted in the Darkest Day thread, so it's no longer frozen. Apologies for ignoring it for so long.

[firehawk010]

np, np

[Dragonizer]

Speaking of mythology, Rugi was based off of some actual god. Rather, his name was taken from one. I forgot which culture it was, or what he's god OF, but the full name is... Eh, I forgot that too. XD Peter probably knows, though! PETER!

[Lifon]

Wow, I love how big of a bastard you made Vint XD

[firehawk010]

XD

[Fomalhaut]

Rugi, black weaver of Destruction, is based off of Rugiviet, a Slavic god of War.

[firehawk010]

Neet. Also, note to Trinity, That would be the way Ryuu talks, and when you talk you don't always use proper grammar.

[Trinity-Dragon]

I know. I was just pointing it out in case that was a mistake. As I said, that was informal speech, so proper grammar doesn't have to apply.

[Fomalhaut]

Nobody really uses "___ and I" in conversation. Even my grandparents, who happen to be fairly Serious Business about manners. At the risk of offending you, I also find it rather ironic that you criticise his grammar.

[Dragonizer]

PETER GIVE ME YOUR MEMORY SKILLZ
Also yas, Vint's fun to play. :3

[Trinity-Dragon]

I use "___ and I" in conversation. I'm guess I'm just weird like that.

I don't quite see how it's ironic or how I was criticising Firehawk. Either way it doesn't matter. Besides, I can understand when people don't like my bugging them about grammar technics, so you didn't really offend me. (I'm not that easy to offend <_<)

[Fomalhaut]

The ironic part is that his grammar is better than yours. >>

[Trinity-Dragon]

How so?

[firehawk010]

That is honestly the first time someone has complemented my grammar.

[Fomalhaut]

Trin: It's strange. In normal conversation, your grammar is absolutely fine. Not a single thing wrong with it. In RPs, though, you constantly change tense within paragraphs. It's a wee bit jarring. ;)

[Trinity-Dragon]

Hm... I do? Alright, it would have been nice if you told me that beforehand...

I never really noticed until you said something. Sorry, but I'll work on it.

[Fomalhaut]

Ah, sorry. I wasn't sure how you'd respond to critique. I now know better. :)

It's best to stick to the past tense at all times. There are very specific circumstances in which it's appropriate to change tense, and never within a paragraph.

[Trinity-Dragon]

Alright, I'll take your advise for it. Well, I'll try to anyways.

I don't take certain types of critique too well, actually; regardless, I would like anyone and everyone to critique my work if there is something I can do to majorly improve my work. And, if I don't take it too well, I can get over it. Just don't give me a bunch of stuff to work on, lest I become overwhelmed.